The stupidity of the human race...

I have unfortunately been sick for two weeks now. I've been to the doctor, got my medicine, started and finished the course of medicine and still am exhausted by anything I do during they day including walking up my stairs. It's tragic really. I'm debating about going to the doctor and being like...umm...it didn't work and if it's a virus it should be over and done with now...so now what. I called my favorite doctor this morning (who is actually a physician's assist but whatever) and scheduled my appointment. I was on hold waiting to talk to the next available secretary to book my appointment (apparently so are many other people at 8:15 on Monday morning) and I hear the familiar hold warning:

"If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911."

Really? Honestly people? Do we really need to know that? Isn't that something you learn when you are five or younger? Even little rascals pokes fun at knowing 911 when they exclaim "quick what' the number for 911?" Do adults calling for a doctor's appointment really need to know that? One would think not, but apparently experience has told the doctor's offices differently.

I've realized that as a general rule that human beings are full of stupidity. This stupidity becomes apparent in the many signs I've seen posted in various locations to help people prevent their stupidity or in most cases an attempt of a highly irritated individual to forgo stupid questions and speed up the process of their job which often fails. In which case, I would only assume that stupid people then become the topic of conversation between co-workers and become the moment of humor due to complete lack of any brain activity.

I have started to mentally watch for these notices of human stupidity as I wander around doing whatever it is I'm doing. Among my findings are:

• The large purple sign in a parking garage to remind you that you should mentally make a note of where you parked so you can once again locate your car rapidly.
• The multiple signs hanging from the ceiling at the financial aid center at my university reminding students that they can apply for their loan online by filling out the fafsa.
• The sign on the front door of my local ihop telling me that their coupons are honored as it is written (to which I respond....uhh...aren't all coupons that way? Do people really try and pull off something where they bring in a coupon for another company or sit and bargain what their coupon should be for?)
• When you call into any company that has a waiting queue and they voice tells you that you can find most of your answers on the website by going to www.doyoureallyneedtoknowcausegoogleexits.com

My personal favorite of this notices is with the debit/credit card machines. Granted there are several different versions of them, but it still should not be so difficult to work a machine that probably has a total of 14 buttons--give or take some depending on the version at each store. At one store, which sadly enough I believe was a pharmacy, on the debit/credit card machine there was the button that said yes. Emphasizing this functionality of the button, there were three or four yellow taped arrows pointing to the apparently "difficult" yes button to find with pen engraving the tape saying "yes". We are supposed to be in the age of technology. And here we have a relatively simplistic machine with very few capabilities and very few user input buttons, yet one of the buttons still needs this mass attention grabbing scheme to allow customers to find the button so they can say yes the amount that they are being charged is fine. It cracks me up and every time I purchased there I chuckled to myself as I thought of the poor clerk who was irritated with the lack of sound individuals purchasing their products. My favorite is when the cashier realizes that the customer is lacking in skills and often awkwardly finagles their hand to blindly find the yes button from behind their station and push the button for the customer. Next time you are at the store notice if there has been enough stupid customers to warrant such labeling on that debit/credit machine.


I wish I could remember more that have made me laugh throughout the years, but currently my mind is running a blank. But watch for them. It will definitely add a little spice to your life.